But I Can Deal with It

2 rounds of my new chemo pills down, one chronically swollen foot (thank you airplane travel), some very miserable hands and feet, and I have yet to look back and miss that damn infusion pump. I knew the hand/foot syndrome might be taken up a notch on the pill, but such is this life and the small prices we pay for a chance at living. It turns out my version of "taking it up a notch" and chemo's version are slightly different. Chemo's version, with little surprise, is a slightly bigger notch.

Sure, it feels like I'm walking on broken glass or a Lego minefield with my tender little foot pads. And it's days like these that I'm grateful for cold weather, Uggs and those fuzzy socks they sell for $1 in the Target bins. The more padding the better.

But I can deal with it.

And I'm feeling major flashbacks to my first 12 rounds of chemo with Oxaliplatin, as I have given up being able to open the simplest wrapper, a package, zip up my pants, or button a button.

But I can deal with it!

I'm not sure if it's neuropathy or just the raw sensation I have in my finger tips that gives me the inability to do even the simplest fingertip oriented activity.

But I can deal with it!!

My hands and feet feel like they are so raw and tender at times, it hurts just to touch them. And I probably should have paid attention when my doctor looked over my hands at my last visit and said something about skin discoloration. I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about, until the fire gods of hand sensitivity rained down their fury upon my palms, and every crease turned an angry, burning red.

Buy I can deal with it!!!

I learned early on that fighting side effects is an uphill battle. I can do my best lessen their blow, but they are going to steam roll you regardless. You just accept them and learn to live life with them. Again, they are a small price to pay when you step back and look at the big picture.

What is that crease of skin between your hand and thumb called anyway?
Just trying to make it easy for the palm readers.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Damn girl! Those poor hands. I'd be a total bitch, but thankful it wasn't on my wrinkly face. ;)