Spin Me Right Round Baby

I've finally been reunited with my first love. At the gym that is.

I've always liked working out, and it's always been part of my life in varying degrees. But it wasn't until I met this hunk of metal back in the late 90s that I really fell in L-U-V with working out.

Being a rule breaker by taking photos in the gym!
Or I at least started a very monogamous relationship with the Spin bike.

I am not a yoga girl or a pilates girl or an anything "cardiovascularly passive" girl. I need music blaring into my ears and people screaming at me. The opportunity has finally arrived when both my schedule and a Spin schedule can start dating again and I am so happy to be back in the saddle again.

Literally, because that's what they call it: the saddle.

Some people were made to run. I was made to Spin.

If ever you thought you were too unhealthy or too unfit to ever start working out, it is never too late. For here I sit, with some mildly uncomfortable saddle-induced soreness, starting my journey from the very bottom of the barrel. When that pesky little tumor was discovered last November, I would say I was fitter than I'd ever been in my life.

I obviously got kicked off the mountain in a hurry and am now staring at the summit wondering how hard and how long it's going to take me to get my grove back. Sure, I look normal on the outside, but I know I'm far from physically sound on the inside. From my neutropenic blood work, to the severe nutritional deficiencies I'm sure to be suffering from thanks to the life-sucking tumor and the life-destroying chemo, I'm a internal hot mess!

I know it's going to be frustrating for me to start at the beginning, rebuilding my body to points it's already passed. As frustrated as I get at how hard it is to do things that use to be easy, I have to remember those frail weeks in bed where all I could do is dream of doing burpees.

But I'm determined! This is where that revised appreciation for feeling good and making the most of every day really kicks in. This is also the point where I have no real excuse to leave the house without my eyebrows or mascara. Society appreciates this.

Though I may be starting at the beginning, I appreciate the fact that I even have the opportunity to do so. Even if I can't feel my fingertips or toes in the process, I appreciate that I even have the energy to climb on that bike or put on my running shoes. Feeling your toes is overrated anyway.

I got all the reminder I needed today at my follow up appointment with my oncologist, when a patient who normally walks in was wheeled in. She had no regard for her own privacy so HIPAA does not apply here, and I was free to listen to her discuss her diagnosis with the person sitting next to me in the waiting room.  The chemo wasn't working, the cancer had spread and she was headed to Duke University for some trial medications. She had just come out of her oncologist's office and was so stoic considering the news. Listening to her fueled my gratefulness, but it also fueled my desire to work harder at this next phase of my life and new found mission.

Here she was too weak to walk and there I sat ready to hit the road running. I know what it's like to get tired just standing for too long. Just ask the mall Santa how pleasant I was last year after waiting for 2 hours in my post-op condition. It rhymes with kitschy I can assure you that Mrs. Claus doesn't like when Santa says words like that in front of the elves.

I am grateful for what my body can still do for me and I look forward to reminding everyone that I'm doing it because I CAN. If this beat up body with numb toes and no immune system can make a come back, anyone CAN.
This girl is available for a butt kicking whenever you need one.

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