3.06.2012

Round Three

This is how round three started. It was all flowers and unicorns and Frappuccinos dripping from trees.

Some of this.
A thick issue of this.
Tiffany, how DID you know I love orange so much?
Oh, and that. I get nauseated just looking at the photo.
And a little bit more of this.
Oh, look who's already hiding in the cave!
 And this is how round three finished up.

The inside of my eyelids. Yes, they have an app for that.
It was craptastic. I've contacted Merriam-Webster again and they say they're going to consider my annual request to add craptastic to the dictionary so I don't keep getting spell checked and I can finally use it in Scrabble. You know, the version where you play with 10 tiles? That's the only word that rolled around in my head as I rolled over in bed 925 times over the 4 days that I spent there with my eyes closed and the misery racing.

I've decided that when this is all done, I will not identify myself as a cancer survivor, but a chemo survivor. This is the real battle for me. Physically, emotionally, mentally. There is no part of one's body and soul that chemo does don't touch and I really struggled this round with the idea of having to go through it nine more times.

I know I have it "good" in that I'm in the best possible situation with my "preventative" chemo. I see others in their recliners who look sick and beaten down and at their lowest. But when you're laying in bed for days on end, feeling nothing but craptastic, nausea a constant companion and missing out on life, it starts to get to you. Just a little.

It's now Tuesday, and as was the case with my last round, this is the first day that I feel normal.  No nausea. No desire to crawl back in bed despite the 4:45am wake up call from the crib. Just normal. 8 days of glorious normal ahead!

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