This is how round three started. It was all flowers and unicorns and Frappuccinos dripping from trees.
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Some of this. |
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A thick issue of this. |
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Tiffany, how DID you know I love orange so much? |
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Oh, and that. I get nauseated just looking at the photo. |
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And a little bit more of this. |
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Oh, look who's already hiding in the cave! |
And this is how round three finished up.
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The inside of my eyelids. Yes, they have an app for that. |
It was craptastic. I've contacted Merriam-Webster
again and they say they're going to consider my annual request to add craptastic to the dictionary so I don't keep getting spell checked and I can finally use it in Scrabble. You know, the version where you play with 10 tiles? That's the only word that rolled around in my head as I rolled over in bed 925 times over the 4 days that I spent there with my eyes closed and the misery racing.
I've decided that when this is all done, I will not identify myself as a cancer survivor, but a chemo survivor.
This is the real battle for me. Physically, emotionally, mentally. There is no part of one's body and soul that chemo does don't touch and I really struggled this round with the idea of having to go through it nine more times.
I know I have it "good" in that I'm in the best possible situation with my "preventative" chemo. I see others in their recliners who look sick and beaten down and at their lowest. But when you're laying in bed for days on end, feeling nothing but craptastic, nausea a constant companion and missing out on life, it starts to get to you. Just a little.
It's now Tuesday, and as was the case with my last round, this is the first day that I feel normal. No nausea. No desire to crawl back in bed despite the 4:45am wake up call from the crib. Just normal. 8 days of glorious normal ahead!
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