3.05.2012

I'm Toxic Like That

Pump, pump, pump it through my veins.
The chemo has left the building.

Well, I left the building and the chemo came with me in more ways than one. There's the European Man Purse and then there's my toxic body.

Apparently it's at its peak in my system for 72 hours after I disconnect, so exchanging of bodily fluids is not safe if you know what I mean. And I know you know I was referring to all that necking that Kyle and I do. We're like teenagers. Don't act surprised. I know you were all wondering.

It's perfectly fine to pump this stuff into my body, but should it find itself on my kitchen floor, it's considered a hazardous material and we should create a 5 mile radius and call OSHA. Anyone who has lived with an infant is well versed in biohazard clean up, so I think we can handle it.

After my first infusion, this hazmat bag came home with us on the off chance my pump leaked. I'm sure it only happens to people who have kids that grab and pull at tubing or are really kluzty and trip while walking around their own house. Good thing I've just been staying in bed the whole time. No harm can come there!

They should send home a similar kit with newborns. You'd need them in bulk!
Good thing Kyle passed all his OSHA safety test last week so he can put on his hard hat and take care of this property.

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