1.12.2012

P-R-E-P Rally

There are Pep Rallies and then there are Prep Rallies!

The next colonoscopy is Friday, so that means Thursday is devoted to prepping. The purge, the cleanse, the emptying of all contents a la the Miralax Martini. It's surprisingly not painful but mildly similar to the infamous scene in Dumb and Dumber. I think I might be starting to enjoy the process. It's very purifying.

This is not a beer sampler. This is a Miralax sampler.
I'm going to start this off with a little tip. You don't actually have to dump 7 servings of Miralax in to your 32 ounce clear liquid and drink it within an hour to get things going. I know that's what the universal instructions say, but that's to motivate people as they inflict the inevitable upon themselves. The inevitable is going to happen if you drink 14 servings of Miralax in a 2 hour period or all day long. It's complete overload in any time frame and a load it will in deed produce.

With that said, if you can follow directions without gagging, by all means you should follow directions.

I'm going to take this medical fact (confirmed by medical professionals that know) and use it to my advantage as I play bartender with myself and divide those 14 servings into a palatable selection of beverages that are sure to keep my taste buds happy. I will tip back glass after glass while my innards start to rumble and speak to me from beyond. No 7 servings in one syrupy drink for me. More like 2 tasteless servings in one tasty beverage and many tasty beverages being consumed over several hours.

If I'm going to make a career out of colonoscopies, I've got to make it work for me. I'm clearly someone that doesn't mind a little extra work for my own happiness. After all, I'm opting for the more challenging PICC line, aren't I?

And those beverages, they don't have to be clear (confirmed by a medical professional who let that little tidbit out of the bag), as long as they're not red. The possibilities are endless!

So on tap today are things like lemonade, tea, diet Sunkist and pear cider (of the non-adult beverage kind).

Bottoms up now, bottoms down latter, then bottoms to the right tomorrow!

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