1.27.2012

Homestyle Health Care

Seems getting a little health care in the home isn't just for country doctors and AARP members.

My home care nurse stopped by today to flush my PICC line and give me a lesson in PICC line care. Talk about pressure!

They'll send you home alone with a newborn, but with a PICC line someone comes to your house to tell you what to do with it. Clearly the medical profession has its priorities!

She left me with lots of bulk medical items I'll probably never need, but will have all sorts of fun trying to store in my meticulously organized house.

Back in 1951 they didn't value things like large closets and storage space, so I'm left with no choice but to micro manage where everything goes around here. It is a necessity of functionality. It makes me wonder where Betty Draper hung all her dresses and how the original homeowners survived in this house with three daughters.

Every week she will visit to flush the line and change my sticky dressing while I lounge on the couch and drink martinis in a feathery robe and slippers patiently sit still and pretend to be a good little girl.

This morning, she immediately walked in and raved about my Pergo floors, so I can tell we're going to get along swimmingly. Complement a housewife and her ability to practice housewifery and you will instantly be on her good side.

Doesn't this just say: "Merrick, tip me over and dump me out!"
My supplies include things like rubber gloves, Heparin and saline syringes and the highly coveted red biohazard bin. Nate Berkus said he'd be right over to tell me how to use it as an accent piece in my decor. We won't even remotely come close to filling it, so I'll have to find some other biohazards around the house to make the most of it. With a 4 year old boy in residence, that won't take long.

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