The Least Sexy of the Cancers

I mean cancer isn't sexy, but it seems in our marketing and media crazed world, breast cancer is the most recognizable and most publicized with its pink ribbon and pink fundraising walks and pink everything. So I'm going to declare it "The Sexy Cancer."

Boobs are sexy, right?

Colons are not sexy, right?

So therefore it is safe for me to admit that I have colon cancer, the least sexy of the cancers. 

And by least sexy, I don't think I'll be slapping a blue ribbon magnet that says "I Survived Colon Cancer!" on my truck and I'm not going to be wearing a "Colon Cancer Survivor" shirt in any future races. It would totally take away from the sexy factor I've worked so hard to cultivate, you know? No amount of Victoria's Secret panties can make colon cancer hot!

Future cancer blogs will go in to some graphic detail because inquiring minds want to know. I think the details are important because they may make you aware of the importance of being in tune with your own body and noticing when things change or just aren't right. I've also been poked and prodded in so many parts of my lower body while awake and asleep at this point that I have no shame in talking about anything.

I mean, is there really any shame left after childbirth? 

I am currently 2 1/2 weeks post-op where I had an almost obstructing tumor removed from my sigmoid colon. Actually, the entire sigmoid colon plus some (about 10 inches) was removed (see illustration below). The surgery was performed laparoscopically, so my bikini days aren't necessarily over, and the whole healing process should technically be easier. Technically.

We now know that the cancer had spread into 14 of the 20+ lymph nodes that were removed, so this translates into Stage III cancer and chemo in my very near future. I've been told it won't be the hair-losing kind of chemo everyone expects, but it will be long and there will be plenty of fun side effects to disrupt my life.

You will never again see a photo of me without my eyebrows drawn in, so enjoy it while it last. This is a few hours after surgery, already out of bed and enjoying the comfort of my special "colon pillow." Be jealous, not everyone has a pillow with a colon on it and no you can't have mine. I also didn't grow a man bulge in the process. That was the ultra trendy fanny pack hanging out with my pain pump inside. Once I was more lucid, I moved it to my hip as to not draw attention to what was really going on under my gown.

Rather than send out mass emails with every appointment (and there are a lot of appointments), I'm just going to update the blog as we go along. I'll back track and tell you how, when, why, what and where, so don't start asking questions yet.  Feel free to bookmark, follow or just check back. Next stop should be with the oncologist after Christmas to discuss chemo.

Yes, this is surreal. Yes, we're still taking it all in. Yes, we appreciate all the prayers, support, encouragement and affirmation we can get. 

Sigmoid colon bye-bye. But that's OK, because there's still another 5 feet to go around!