The CT Scan

I have a finely tuned gag reflex. That means I don't do keg stands or shots and am therefore a whole bucket of fun at a frat party! Just put me in a corner with the awkward sorority girl and we'll be great wallflowers at an otherwise raging gig.

Because of this gag reflex, one of my greatest fears in medical science was about to come true.

We got the call that Monday morning from the Patient Care Nurse and she said to head over to the hospital for the CT Scan. And then she said it. We could head over right away since I'd need to wait an hour while the contrasting solution coated my insides.

Contrasting solution meant only one thing to me. The dreaded barium milkshake. I almost crumpled in to a weepy mess on my own kitchen floor. If drinking tainted Gatorade made me gag, drinking something the flavor of chalk with the consistency of latex paint was going to be a mess.

Kyle just laughed and I promised that I would be aiming at him when the barium decided to reappear from my stomach. He vowed to be my biggest cheerleader as I took tiny sips at a time and pretended I was somewhere else, but it wasn't helping.

I spent the next 2 hours obsessing and trying to sike myself out enough to get the stuff down. And if they expected me to drink it within a hour, they were clearly delusional.

Just as dreamy as it looks.
I knew it was going to be a painful process, even with Kyle there for moral support. You can only imagine how it made my morning, day and week when the tech came in and brought me a liter-sized Styrofoam cup. Bile began to churn.

It was huge. Huge! I was about to start gagging right then and walk out when he told me it was just water mixed with a very small amount of "glow in the dark" medicine. So no barium? No barium.

How I escaped the barium cocktail I'll never know, but should they ever offer it again, I have a photo of what I got to drink and will demand it!

The CT was the shortest part of our day and Kyle and I took full advantage of the hour you have to wait while your insides get coated. We walked around the hospital grounds holding hands and admiring the mild weather like a bunch of old people. It was the closest thing we'd had to a date in a while, and obviously I'd gone above and beyond the call of duty to get some alone time with my man. Just call me the sacrificial wife.

Kyle and I returned to the waiting room within an hour and waited, because that's apparently what waiting rooms are for. And waited. Well past the hour mark I finally pointed out that we were still waiting. I was promptly called back where I was placed in another waiting room. And I guess all the waiting meant I needed a little taste of the good stuff after all. So because they were running late, I was being forced to drink of the barium milkshake after all. The first few sips went down like the Orange Julius I pretended that they were. The next couple of sips I tried to imagine were an Orange Creamsicle. And the last few sips gave everyone else waiting a good scare when I started to gag. All that effort and I think I managed to suck down an inch. Good thing the tech came and got me and promptly chucked the rest in the trash.

The CT scan was short but comical thanks to a talented and funny tech. He said results would be emailed and read within the hour, which just blows my no-so-technical mind out of the water. We were meeting with the surgeon bright and early the next morning so the wait wouldn't be long.

While laying on the table, I had to wonder if he could see what it was seeing. And had he been doing this long enough to know what was there. When he came back in to the CT room to free me up, I gave him a good long look and wondered if he already knew what the doctor was going to be telling us the next day. I appreciated his light sense of humor, because I'm sure he sees some very sick and very scared people. He was the right man for the job.


Diane said...

just read your last 3 blogs - I did not realize you had been writing. I looked "just in case" you had added anything! They are so interesting and informative - you are good at including all kinds of good detail! Take care! Diane

Wanda said...

No shots? That really is a sensitive gag reflex.